I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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