If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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