If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize