Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize