Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
