Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
