Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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