it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize