p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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