The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
