Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You took a bar mat shot.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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