I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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