there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize