You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
