I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
