She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
