I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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