shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
MIDGETS
????
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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