My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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