Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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