I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
