so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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