if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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