Kiss
Puke
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize