Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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