He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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