Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize