Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
