awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
