She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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