Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
