it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
