He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do you remember whose house we're in?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
