O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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