I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize