I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
