when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
