So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize