all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
