I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
this beer tastes like vomit already
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
