he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
