i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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