just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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