Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize