Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
