Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he was CRYING into my vagina
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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