Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
