A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
