i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize