I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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