I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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