I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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