All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my being single is dangerous.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize