I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
