just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
