and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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