The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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