Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
