did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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