I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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