I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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