Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bonerfarts hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(559): View more from California

I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?

Fav 182 22027 3255
share tweet
(320): View more from Minnesota

so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

Fav 38 2118 5621
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth

Fav 15 3047 2594
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

Fav 30 13126 1908
share tweet
(707): View more from California

just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

Fav 20 10109 1275
share tweet
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.

Fav 7 1443 3746
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar

Fav 6 1584 844
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars

Fav 1 430 287
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising

Fav 0 202 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT