Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
