He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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