PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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