Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
